(Final)ly coming to a close.

To be blunt, I have fallen in love with Ireland. I have spent my last few days in Dublin wandering the city streets by myself, with my ipod picking up last minute gifts for people back home. I can honestly say I know Dublin pretty well, and when I was walking alone I felt content with my time spent here in Ireland. I think some of the best times are the ones when I'm alone. Not to say I don't need my friends, cause they have definitely been the center of my good times here in Dublin. But, when I walked alone across O'Connel bridge, over the Liffey River, through Trintiy College, up and down Grafton Street, through St. Steven's Green, or to the grocery store I was amazed with how comfortable I was with being my surroundings and I thought about the past four months here. I loved having time to think about where I was this semester and how lucky I was to be able to just walk around the streets of Dublin by myself.

As I sit here, procrastinating a necessary study session for my Political Sociology exam tomorrow, I can't help but let my mind wander off and reflect on everything that I have done, and that has happened to me over the past four months. I have made incredible friends, I have seen incredible places, I have become more independent than I ever thought was possible, I learned how to actually cook a meal, all while attempting to do well in a school system that is about as organized as my room on a good day. I won't forget stepping off the plane for the first time, to a downpour without an umbrella wondering why in my right mind would I choose to come study in a place like this. But as the days went on, the skies cleared, and even when they didn't, I realized the beauty of this island, and have come to terms with its most times unfavorable weather. I have seen the better side of bad situations, not just with the weather, and have learned to cope with more homesickness than I ever thought was humanly possible for me to feel. But besides the weather and homesickness, I have learned valuable lessons about being on my own. I have learned how to navigate a city, and felt confident and excited when I could finally tell someone how to get to a specific street or tourist attraction. I have come to find this city as my home, and as much as I don't like the school I attended, Dublin has had a profound impact on my life. Coming from a suburban town, where I am privileged enough to have a car to get me from place to place, it was humbling to rely on actual public transportation, and not even have the option of driving (also, I may have crashed if I did drive anyways) no matter how unreliable the bus system is here. I have eliminated all doubts in my mind that I could not survive on my own, with my dreams firmly set in place that I do want to live in a city after graduation. It has been a complete change in scenery, from Ridgefield to UConn, placed firmly in a suburban area with no real diversity in either. And while there isn't much more diversity here in Ireland, I have learned how to interact with new people and even understand what different dialects are and the slangs that come with each part of the country.

To say that I am Irish is something I would be criticized for here. I have always thought of myself as Irish back home, but upon coming here I find that I am not Irish at all, and saying that to someone from Dublin is borderline offensive. I don't think that I reject the idea of being Irish all together, but upon talking to tons of people I realize that I was never Irish, but only American. I find my ancestry fascinating, yet after studying here for months, I don't find I identify to it quite the same as I did before. I think, if anything, this semester has taught me more about who I am than anything I've learned at University College Dublin. The knowledge I've gained is personal rather than textual and more influential on my life than any book or lecture could ever be. I have become cultured with other people's beliefs and cultures, even trying to assimilate with the use of languages when I've traveled from place to place (4 years of Spanish was not much help in Spain). Not to say I've changed completely, but I feel much more comfortable in my own skin, and realize I can always be accepted for who I am not for what someone wants me to become.

The privileges I have had go far beyond studying in a different country. I have been places I never dreamed I'd ever get to go to. To say that I've been two four different countries in Europe is more than I can say for most of the people I know. I will never forget the trips I've taken with my friends over here. I have explored countries on my own, created itineraries, even correctly read a map - which is something I have epically failed at due to the invention of MapQuest - and successfully executed the planning of three trips since being here. I have become much more organized and appreciative of what I have. I know that each day is a blessing, and though it may not be a great day, it is a day in Ireland that I won't get back. I've learned to live to the fullest, with proof being my bank account is relatively empty, but I have no regrets.

I will never forget the trips I have taken. I won't forget the memories from every single day I've been here. I won't forget the scenery of Ireland, and its gorgeous hills, green parks, and infinite number of castles. I won't forget still being ecstatic to see another church despite seeing about three or four the day before on any of my trips. I won't forget my new found appreciation for architecture, and the beauty of intricacy that lies in every church, castle, or building I have visited. I won't forget the friends I've made here, as we have gotten closer everyday and I'm truly blessed to have met people I get along with so well. I won't ever forget my apartment, and the daily mishaps that seem to occur while living there. I won't forget every single pub I went to, and how many euros I spent paying for a cover charge to get into a club. I won't forget my first Guinness, and how it was revolting, but embodied the Irish culture. I won't forget how I've become so much more thankful for my belongings, family and friends, and how much I actually missed them compared to how much I didn't think I would. I won't forget successfully cooking my first Thanksgiving away from home. I won't forget the euro to dollar conversion rate, that has completely been the pitfall of my bank account. I won't forget Dublin on a sunny day, or a rainy day. I won't forget the loss of three umbrellas due to the gale force winds outside. I won't forget kissing the Blarney stone. I won't forget seeing the Eiffel Tower light up and sparkle at 7pm in Paris. I won't forget standing on the edge of the Cliffs of Moher and being speechless. I won't forget sitting on the beach in Barcelona, in mid-October, in shorts. I won't forget the Colosseum in Rome, the never ending 463 steps to the top of the Duomo in Florence, or the beaches and canal in Venice. I won't forget the views of any scenery, and how pictures don't do them justice. I won't forget the sunsets I've seen in every country I've been to.

Like I said before, I have no regrets. This semester has honestly been one of the best in my life. I didn't necessarily spend all my time studying, but I think being over here, I embodied the Irish lifestyle and didn't take a single day for granted. As excited as I am to come home, I can't even describe how much I will miss this place. It has come to be a second home to me. I am eternally grateful that my parents were willing to give me the opportunity to come abroad. I have been completely humbled by Ireland, Paris, Barcelona, Venice, Florence and Rome. The time I have spent in each of these places has transformed my views on material objects and technology. I had some of the best times virtually cut off from all technology, and has made me re-assess my need for a computer, television and especially cell phone with me at all times. Not to say I'm totally willing to give those things up, but I just know I can live without them and still enjoy my time. I have been hesitant to write this last entry because it means that this chapter in my life is finally closing. So with that said, I'd like to just thank my parents for giving me this opportunity. My friends I've made here, for putting up with my sarcasm and pessimism. My friends at home, for reassuring me that I wasn't missed too much and my return is just as exciting for you guys as it is for me. My grandparents, for being utterly and completely supportive of my travels, blogs and endeavors since I've been here. I will see you all soon, I love you all and thanks for following the most fantastic experience I've had to date.

Love,
Meg